Monday, November 19, 2012

What the Republican Party Needs to Do Now

(With apologies to Meghan McCain.)

When my dad told me last week that Barack Obama had been elected, I cried because I was soooo excited that soon we would have a black president. But also because that means the Republican guy lost and I think my dad is a Republican and he sounded sooooo sad. But I was also sad about the Republican party which I love soooooo much. The Republican party is losing the most important voters in this country, which in order are young people, single women, minorities and gays. In order to win back these important constituencies, here is what the Republican party has to do now, or else I might consider leaving them, which will be a major blow.
1. Stop being the party of White People. If the Republican party wants to win elections they have to stop getting the votes of White People. We live in the Age of Modern Family, not the age of some show about a white family that is old. The Republican party should tell White People to stop voting for them unless they are married to a much younger Latin American woman, and have at least one son who is gay. This way, the Republican party will look more like America.
2. Appoint Sofia Vergara to the Supreme Court. Times are changing, and it is time for this country to have a hot Latina woman on the Supreme Court. Also, this will help Republicans with women, Hispanics, and men. Also consider appointing Cam or Mitch to the Supreme Court.
3. Stop talking about religion. Religion is very old. If the Republicans want the votes of young people, they should stop talking about stuff that is very old, like religion, and also the constitution which Ezra Klein said is almost a hundred years old!
4. Republicans should be pro-life, but only if they also protect a woman's right to choose. I mean, what kind of life is it if you can't choose what to do with your own body? I am pro-life, but I believe that women should always have a right to abortion, because life is complicated. This is the only type of pro-life that should be allowed.
5. Stop worrying about the future. Old people worry about the future. Young people don't worry about the future, because it is in a long time. Young people care about now. Imagine if instead of talking about the debt crisis, Paul Ryan talked about how he wants to give young people stuff now. Do you think young people would have all voted for Obama just because he's cool? Maybe, but we'll never know.
I'm a Republican, but we can't let Republican voters, who are very extreme, decide the views of the Republican party. If Republicans don't become a lot more like the Democrats, I will become a Democrat, because that is how much I love the Republican Party.